FLIGHT TO BROOKLYN
A play in one act

(Curtain rises. A somewhat haggard and hideous thirtysomething sits in an airplane seat next to a stunning young woman with Auburn hair dressed in a cheerleader outfit.)

MEAT BALL: Apparently, you have a bizarre sleep schedule. Tell us about it. Have you ever fallen asleep and woken up in strange places or situations?

BROOKLYN LEE: Oh geez. My sleeping habits are atrocious. No set schedule to speak of, with a pension for staying up all night. Daylight frightens me. I might be a vampire. As far as waking up in strange places is concerned, it's certainly happened. I've woken up on porches and passed out in the middle of airports a time or two.

(a flight attendant wheels her cart by, offering BROOKLYN a drink. She declines. MEAT BALL attempts to order a drink, but the attendant leaves before he can speak. He turns back to BROOKLYN.)

MEAT BALL: You seem to be pretty great at butt-sex. Is butt sex better than regular non-butt sex? Why? Why not?

BROOKLYN LEE: Honestly, I prefer regular sex. Cue waves of disappointment. Don't get me wrong, butt sex is great, but it's like cake: not intended for daily consumption.

(a flight attendant passes by again. MEAT BALL again attempts to order a drink but is punched in the throat by BROOKLYN before he can speak.)

MEAT BALL: We’re considering expanding POPPORN into an assassin’s employment agency. Is there anyone you’d like us to whack for you? Usually we’d charge a few thousand bucks per hit, but we like you, so you get a freebie.

BROOKLYN LEE: Considering my current status as porn's resident Black Widow, I'd venture to say I could probably handle the killins' on my own. Just saying...

MEAT BALL (to audience): At this point, I should point out that Brooklyn’s appearing in the upcoming Spider-Man parody as the Black Widow. You should already know that. (back to Brooklyn) Supposing you could have any superpower you wished, what would you have?

BROOKLYN LEE: Time travel!

MEAT BALL: Cut the crap – we know you actually DO have superpowers. What are they and how can you use them to help us subvert and control the world’s richest nations?

BROOKLYN LEE: While I've not yet discovered how to eschew the space-time continuum, I *can* fit my fist in my mouth. That's gotta count for something, right? My high-kick ain't bad either.

MEAT BALL: You didn’t answer the part about subverting rich people.

(BROOKLYN punches him in the throat again. He begins bleeding out of the mouth and nose.)

MEAT BALL: Okay. Next question. We’re comic book nerds. We talk about comics a lot on our site. Do you like comics too? If not, no biggie. We already get to see you in a Black Widow outfit, so we’re pretty satisfied…

BROOKLYN LEE: Admittedly, I know very little about comics. Some friends of mine are attempting to enlighten me. I don't totally get it yet, but I'm starting to dig it. No longer do I see them merely as "cartoons."

MEAT BALL: Does liking comics make us cool or just pathetic nerds?

BROOKLYN LEE: If you'd asked me this question a few months ago, I'd have had a different response. As I mentioned, some of my buddies are trying to help me see the light. I'm learning to appreciate comics as the deeply rich and complex stories that they are. So yes, it makes you cool, and ahead of the times, I suppose.

(MEAT BALL grins from ear to ear. BROOKLYN picks up a fork from her seat tray and sticks it into his leg. The flight attendant passes again and slaps MEAT BALL in the face.)

MEAT BALL: Okay. Speaking of Nerds, tell us a bit about working on the Official Revenge of the Nerds Parody. I know it was written and directed by POPPORN’s BUCKTON and Bangs, but they don’t tell me nothin’! I want to hear the experience from your point of view.

BROOKLYN LEE: Revenge of the Nerds was amazing! Such a great cast. The long hours flew by hanging out with that crew. The script is hilarious! I'm really excited and I think it's gonna do really well. As for my scene, how'd ya like the impromtu costume switcheroo? Teaser: I'm wearing a viking helmet for a good portion of my scene!

MEAT BALL: It was cool, but I wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be Norse or Asgardian.

(BROOKLYN removes the form from MEAT BALL’s leg and sticks it into his cheek. He bleeds profusely..)

MEAT BALL: Okay. Moving on. Be honest: doesn’t Marco look ridiculous in the Revenge of the Nerds parody? I mean ridiculous in a good way..

BROOKLYN LEE: Marco is a doll! One of my favorite boys. He's always cheery and grinning from ear-to-ear. Granted, you can't understand a damned thing he says...but who really cares anyway when your presence lights up the room like that. His costume was great! So ridiculously awesome, that I decided to steal a piece of it and add it to my own cheerleader get-up.

MEAT BALL: How about Marco’s teeth? That dude’s got some serious chompers!

BROOKLYN LEE: What can I say? I'm jealous! His teeth are so fricken' white he puts Ross to shame.

(MEAT BALL stares blankly.)

MEAT BALL: I, uh, I don’t know who Ross is. I’m bleeding pretty badly here.

(The flight attendant returns and hands BROOKLYN several more forks.)

MEAT BALL: What are you up to in 2011? What should we be on the lookout for?

BROOKLYN LEE (stabbing MEAT BALL several times while delivering these lines): Woo! Fun stuff! As you already know, I played Black Widow in Vivid's "Spiderman: A XXX Parody." I also had the opportunity to work for Stormy Daniels in her upcoming romantic feature "Heart Strings," for Wicked Pictures (which was my biggest role to-date). We had a wonderful time filming it: hanging out on a ranch and riding horses...and I got serenaded by the dashing and dapper Mr. Michael Vegas.

MEAT BALL: And of course, feel free to mention anything else you’d like to talk about. Or ask questions back at me…or…you know…I think we should call the captain…or a doctor…

BROOKLYN LEE I'm working hard to build content for my personal website. I have an extensive design background, so I've decided to develop it myself to ensure it's exactly what I want. I'm totally stoked about it and am adamant about it being uniquely my own. Look forward to a glimpse into my personal life and truly original shoots and sets.

(MEAT BALL closes his eyes.)

MEAT BALL: That sounds…that…you…

(MEAT BALL dies. BROOKLYN removes a thick wad of cash from her purse and kisses it..Curtain.)

skinner ha scritto:bel fisico, ma faccia da trans...

roger ha scritto:A me piace...

Trez ha scritto:Trez approved!!...ottima cula

katmandu69 ha scritto: